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Meeting someone new and starting a relationship can be an exciting time as you get to know one another and develop feelings. Butterflies in your stomach, thinking about the other person a lot and wanting to spend time with them are often part of a new relationship and it can be great to experience this with someone new.
Whether you have had previous relationships or this is one of your firsts, you may find yourself unsure of how to behave as you are getting to know the other person. At times it can be hard to know how open to be with someone new or to have the confidence to let them know how you feel or what you want. Learning to trust someone takes time and respecting that process can help you build relationships that work for you and your partners.
Keep in mind that your relationship with yourself is the most consistent relationship in your life, and that it impacts all of your other relationships. Having a healthy relationship with yourself can help stop you from forming unhealthy habits in your relationships with others. There is no such thing as the ‘perfect’ relationship, but here is some advice on healthy habits that can help you build a happy relationship that works for each of you.
Show kindness and respect
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, and reminding yourself of this at the beginning of dating someone can help to build a healthy relationship. Arguments are bound to happen, but there is a difference between disagreeing with someone and having a falling out, and treating someone badly. Cursing and calling each other names, purposefully trying to hurt someone’s feelings during an argument, and threatening or emotionally manipulative behaviour are all toxic traits in a relationship.
Read our article Am I in a toxic relationship? to find out more about the signs of toxic relationships and your options if you might be in one.
Set boundaries in your relationship
Boundaries are standards that you set for yourself and someone else within a relationship. Healthy boundaries allow people to connect with each other while also taking care of their individual wants and needs. People often have different boundaries from their friends, family or sexual or romantic partners. Getting to know what makes you feel good can be very helpful for maintaining healthy relationships with other people.
For example, someone’s boundary may be that if they began to date someone they would not feel comfortable telling them certain things about their past or introducing them to their family until a later stage in a relationship. Other boundaries can include letting someone know that they cannot always expect an instant reply if they text or for you to always answer their calls. Setting boundaries is a healthy habit as it can let you take a relationship at your own pace and not feel you have to be always available to the other person or do anything you are not comfortable with.
Saying you do not want to talk about personal subjects (however this should not mean refusing to discuss issues within the relationship)
Take things slowly in your relationship
When starting a relationship it is good to recognise that people feel comfortable taking certain steps at different times. For example, if you meet someone on an online dating platform you might feel you are ready to meet up with them but they may still only be comfortable messaging or speaking on the phone. There are many different stages in a relationship and there is no set point or timeframe for reaching these. Every relationship is different and will progress at a different pace. What is important is that you and who you are seeing are comfortable with the situation and that no one feels under pressure to do something before asiatisk chatterom they are ready.